This green advert makes me see red

in Big Issues

Pissed-off Toff rails against an advertisment which simultaneously pays full obeisance to the ‘diversity’ agenda and to the ‘man-made-global-warming’ myth.

Famously, Evelyn Waugh once wrote that you read newspapers when you have nothing better to do. Less famously, and in a rare moment of lucidity, the ultra-Remainer journalist Matthew Parris recently said that he was concerned that his obsession with politics was the mark of failure on a personal level.

Both Waugh and Parris are right. The wise man takes pride in his wife and his children; he enjoys his friendships; and for as long as the howling legions of environmental activists allow him to do so, he flies off to Tuscany, the Dordogne or Greece for his holidays, and at other times of the year enjoys driving his Bentley along the leafy lanes that separate his residence from the local market town. Politics are only a periferal part of his life. 

There were, indeed, countless people who managed to live through the French Revolution without being troubled by the momentous forces and changes that it unleashed. As the blade of the guillotine rose and fell, they loved, they married, they had children. And as for the general mayhem, they avoided it insofar as they could. For example, I recently read an account of a girl who, oblivious to the atrocities being enacted all abour her, happily went to her dancing classes in Paris throughout the Terror of 1793-1794.

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If only I were part of that happy band of men who are able to ignore politics; to ignore the state of the world. I can’t. I’m not married; I have no children; and perhaps because I am not occupied in this area, the state of modern Britain occupies me instead.

I can hardly open a newspaper, now, without screaming with rage; I cannot watch the TV news – the BBC news especially – without grabbing for the nearest empty gin bottle to hurl at the offending screen; nor, most of the time, can I enter into any sort of conversation without having to suppress my unshakeable convictions about almost everything. Brexit (failure of), ‘man-made climate change’ (note the inverted commas), the unholy LGBT lobby … I am entirely at odds with almost every aspect of the New Puritan world in which we live. 

If I were younger or richer or braver, I’d leave the country tomorrow. But I no longer have the energy. So I sit here and console myself by playing Bach preludes on the grand piano. I mark up the fingering with a solid 18ct gold Parker pencil; and generally, post-6pm, there’s a strong G&T to hand. It is a solution of sorts.

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So what, you might wonder, is getting my goat today? What is nudging me a little further along the road that leads to insanity?

It is this full-page advertisement (see picture above), widely circulated in the print media and cut out from a recent edition of The Spectator. The top half of the page contains an image of a pretty mixed-race girl with full lips, freckles and frizzy hair, aged perhaps ten or twelve. On the bottom half of the page is an image of beautiful countryside with, to one side, a number of immensely tall wind-turbines. In the middle of the page are two messages in large Roman lettering. First: “I want to use greener energy.” And then: “I want a smart meter.

What, you might ask, is not to like? Everything, I answer.

One: When the popuation of the UK remains overwhelmingly white, and when mixed-race children are a rarity, why does this advert address itself to us through a mixed-race child? Yes, I know. It’s the dogma of ‘diversity’ … according to which cute half-black children must now appear in almost every TV advert even though they represent – what? – one child in a thousand. That’s not ‘diversity’, of course. It’s ‘positive discrimination’ on a massive scale.

Two: Why the child in the first place? Children know nothing. Their views are of no account whatsoever. And that includes Greta Thunberg. Send the priggish little girl back to the nursery, says I.

Three: No. I do not want a smart meter. It’s just another electronic device that will go wrong. Indeed, recent reports suggest that these meters very often don’t work. They are there for the convenience of the utilities companies, in just the same way that automated checkouts in supermarkets are there not for the convenience of the customer, but to save money for the retailers.

Four: No. I do not want our countryside to be covered in wind turbines which destroy its beauty for ever and for everyone. I do, however, want some new nuclear and coal-fired power-stations to reliably and efficiently generate all that energy that no number of windmills will ever produce.

Five: I am fed up with being preached at. And this advert is nothing if not preachy. The pretty mixed-race girl wants a smart meter, does she? Why? Only because her left-wing teachers have scared her to bits with lies about how the world is about to end. And we – the adults – are being told that we should want a smart meter too. Why? To save the planet for all those mixed-race children, of course.

Six … and most importantly of all. Along with countless proper scientists whose views are never heard, I reject the unproven theory that man-made carbon emissions are in any way responsible for climate change. The climate has always changed and will always change. No-one really knows why. The most likely explanation has to do with changes in solar activity … about which we can do nothing.

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In short, the reason this green advert makes me see red is that it is a product of the major delusion of our times. The quasi-religious obsession with ‘man-made climate change’ is a sign that we as a society are going mad … not unlike the Peruvians who, 600-odd years ago, ritually sacrificed several hundred of their children in the firm belief that doing so would stave off disease and disaster. It didn’t, of course.

We, however, are going further than the Peruvians, because in desecrating our countryside with useless and indestructible wind-turbines and in closing down whole swathes of industry which once shut down will never return, we are causing damage of a rather more extensive and permanent nature. It is little less than an act of national suicide, committed in the name of an insane puritanical dogma while the rest of the world looks on in disbelief … mixed, I suspect, with a large measure of contempt for our idiocy.

And thinking of measures, time for that G&T … a double, of course.

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