If this isn’t a flying saucer, then what is it?

in Out and About

Over several weeks Pissed-off Toff has observed and filmed what can only be a UFO, also known as a ‘flying saucer’ … and here are two of his videos of these sightings.

As my life crumbles around me for reasons deriving entirely from my own idiocy, I like to go for walks along the pre-Jurassic coastline to the south of God’s chosen city of Sunderland. I look at the waves breaking on the concrete mole on the perimeter of the port, sometimes sedately and sometimes wildly, the spray occasionally splashing – what? – fifty foot high into the air; and then I proceed down the coast beside cliffs of magnesian limestone formed 240 million years ago. 

I am quite happy to go for a walk in the dark, and I sometimes look upwards, so that recently, on a cold night, I observed a strange phenomenon. In an entirely clear and cloudless sky, the moon was shining brightly. The lights of an aeroplane were visible, moving slowly across the panoramic screen above me. As the darkness grew deeper, stars twinkled. And then, at five o’clock in relation to the moon and at some distance from it, and very high up indeed, I saw a brightly coloured orange spot … which, all of a sudden, moved in a flash from one position to another … and then, having stayed immobile for a few moments, again moved with unnatural speed to a different position.

I continued looking for some time. And always, the same thing: within a certain field of operations, this circular object, not white like the stars but orange, would hover for a moment, and then swish elsewhere at immense speed … and then hover … and then swish again. Nor could there be any doubt that this object was very far away indeed.

* * * * *

Over the clear-skied evenings that followed, I observed the same thing. Unfailingly, when I went to observe the waves and to look up at Diana’s planet, the same thing occurred: at five o’clock in relation to the moon, a brightly shining circular orange object was there, hovering then darting and then hovering and darting again, at outlandish speeds (think how slowly aeroplanes seem to be moving when you observe them from the ground; and this thing was far higher up than any aeroplane).

During perhaps my third viewing of this phenomenon, I telephoned the friend who is giving me temporary refuge in his large Victorian church. “Are you sure you’re all right?” he asked. On returning to the church, I realised that from a patch of unlit grassland nearby, the flying disc could be clearly seen. Come and have a look, I said. Unbelieving to begin with, my friend could not but agree that I was seeing correctly.

* * * * *

What, then, did I see, observed over many nights, whenever the sky was clear?

  1. A bright circular object, clearly very high up in the sky, well above the height at which aeroplanes fly, or helicopters or drones;
  2. Unlike the stars, which have a bright white diamond colour, this object was a bright orange colour;
  3. It always occupied roughly the same area in relation to the moon;
  4. Within its area of operations, it moved in a jerky fashion from one position to another … and just occasionally whizzed off further afield on a longer trajectory, moving so fast that I could hardly see it.

My rational friend confirms all this. No, it was not a firefly seen a few yards away; no, it was not an optical illusion. Still less, believe me, is this some sort of clever technical hoax on my part. I am not capable of such things. Indeed, until I saw this phenomenon, I did not even know how to use the video function on my super-sophisticated iPhone.

When, with the competent help of the eighteen-year-old Daisy B, I finally managed to load the video onto my MacBook Pro with its large screen, I was even more surprised. This object seemed, perhaps, to be surrounded by some sort of glowing aura. It seemed, also, to change shape, as though it were a flat circular object turning on its side; like a saucer.

Here is the video, filmed on the evening of 10 February. It lasts for two minutes. Leaning back against a fence for support, I was holding my iPhone entirely still with two hands: note that the moon, with clouds scudding across it, remains motionless throughout the video; as do the stars, millions of miles away.

What is this thing?

An aeroplane? Clearly not.

A helicopter? No: helicopters don’t fly that high and they don’t move like that.

A drone? No: for the same reason as for a helicopter. Plus, what would any drone or helicopter be doing, hovering night after night in the dark, high over the North Sea?

A satellite? No: they don’t move like that.

* * * * *

Here is a second video of the same flying disc (I think), filmed earlier, on the evening of 16 January. The technical quality of the filming is inferior to that of the one above; but the content is perhaps even more interesting. Unfortunately there is no stable body – like the moon – by which to judge the movements of the disc; I followed it with my iPhone as best I could.

This video lasts for 1 minute and 27 seconds. Note how, at the start of the clip, the far-away object looks like a disc turning on itself. It shimmers strangely. At a certain point between 30 seconds and 33 seconds – and this is the most interesting bit – it whizzes downwards and then upwards, at an unearthly speed … after which it turns on itself again and shimmers. At 1:08 it disappears, and the rest of the video is dross.

Here, then, is the second video clip:

So again: what is this? You will agree with me now that it cannot be an aeroplane or a helicopter or a drone or a satellite. Which would seem to place it in the category of a UFO: an unidentified flying object … formerly referred to as a ‘flying saucer’ … a visitation from some other world. 

If I once doubted the existence of such things, I no longer do; any more than I doubt the existence of ghosts and poltergeists, which I have experienced several times in my life; and each time, entirely sober.

* * * * *

A brief Google search reveals that such things have been frequently observed by the most sober people of all: military pilots. All too often they do not report what they have seen, for fear of being laughed at by their colleagues; just as when I told a friend about my own sightings, he looked at me in a manner that might charitibly be described as quizzical. But the fact remains that I saw what I saw, and can find no earthly explanation for it. 

Oh, and this evening at 8 o’clock on 24 February, in the dark sky above that pre-Jurassic coast just south of the port of Sunderland, there were two of them, as clear as could be. So I speculate, finally, that our world is being systematically observed from afar by alien space crafts … or flying saucers, as we used to call them. 

Any better ideas? Do let me know.

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